Saturday, November 12, 2005 12:30 AM
Seems to driftin away frm a couple of things recently... Updatin my bloggie is one thing... Dun seems to have the mood to update.. Hav been 'disappearin' frm Ryan's lessons.. which is not the case if it were to be the past... Dun seems to be very willin to voice out certain issues cos jus felt that its a waste of time... get irritated easily which I ended up being quiet & refuse to tok to the extend tat I felt there's really a problem within mi... Im not like this in the past... & I dunno WHEN was the time when I start shuttin myself up instead of tokin it out... I hate it when such things happen... one word>>> "Pathetic"
Terrence called mi again... he's indeed one of my buddy.. nv forget abt my presence when it comes to dance shows and performances... though we have not met like really long till I lost count of time... he asked mi if I wanted to be the permanent "resident" for his shows and I personally felt tat its fantastic.. but I dun even noe if I can afford the time... Each time without fail... he would personally called mi on the phone which actually can be done by jus a sms to ask if I can perform for his shows... and honestly I felt honoured.. really!!! Nv knew tat my grp of dancers are out in the "mkt" doing well... & not forgettin this Lil' one (which is mi!!!) still in sch, practicing hard and tryin to carve out a future for herself... Even Bridger asked mi a question tat leave mi speechless... "When are u going to take up the scholarship with Studio Wu??? & when are u startin to further your "career" in dance???" I totally have no idea how to answer her... & guess she has hit my soft spot... Honestly, its a very difficult question for mi to answer... Bridger came up with a conclusion which I NOW agreed (hmmm.. actually its only partially agree...) is tat I dun see Dance as the ultimate passion tat I would pursue in my future... & this is one conclusion which I dun wished to be true... cos no one will understand the kind of sweat and hardwork Ive put in these 6 years... its really smthing tat I cant let go.. unlike music which Ive takin since 3 years old till I was 15 years old... its 12 solid years of practice & imagine the amt of $$$ "invested"... in my heart I felt tat Ive let my mommy down cos Ive wasted my mommy's effort of dreamin to "make" mi into a music talent which is not the case now... Now her lil' girl is dancing :p
Exactly 6 more days b4 headin to Aussie... Phy is so sweet tat she bought mi a scarf yesterdae when we are suppose to meet for dinner at 5.45pm... she was late & the reason was she went to buy the scarf b4 meetin mi.. cos she knew tat if Im wif her.. I would hav stop her frm buyin or...... maybe she really wanted to give mi a surprise ya... I was really happy honestly & she was really really sweet... I didnt expect tat she would get it for mi.. cos Ive been ponderin over whether to get it or not... Anyway... Thanx ya!!!
Wow!!! My entry todae is SUPER DOPER long!!! Alrite.. tats abt it for todae...
Perfectly Imperfect - Lil' Star
12:30 AM.
Seems to driftin away frm a couple of things recently... Updatin my bloggie is one thing... Dun seems to have the mood to update.. Hav been 'disappearin' frm Ryan's lessons.. which is not the case if it were to be the past... Dun seems to be very willin to voice out certain issues cos jus felt that its a waste of time... get irritated easily which I ended up being quiet & refuse to tok to the extend tat I felt there's really a problem within mi... Im not like this in the past... & I dunno WHEN was the time when I start shuttin myself up instead of tokin it out... I hate it when such things happen... one word>>> "Pathetic"